Despite being awful at tumblr for the last 8 months, I’ve had a steady increase in followers who probably know nothing about me. So, here’s my deal! Thanks for the tag smoobies.
Birthday: Feb. 9
Favorite color: grey, any black & white combo, ever
Lucky number: meh, I don’t believe in such things
Talents: decorating, binge eating, and most people are surprised to find out that I’m pretty athletic. I choose not to be because I like sitting inside on my couch.
Last Dream you remember: !!! I went to a wedding and slept with the groom. Turns out the groom was my current boyfriend, so I guess we broke up and I was invited to his wedding…which I ruined. I confessed to the bride and then we all went to brunch in NYC to make up.
Can you juggle: nope.
Do you like writing: not really.
Do you like dancing: yes! very much when alcohol is involved.
Do you like singing: in my car.
Fantasies Dream Vacation: currently- Cozumel with the baby catcher
Dream Guy: already got him! This guy I’ve been dating for 8 years who I have dubbed “baby catcher,” as he is currently an OB GYN resident. He’s catching babies left and right, all day err’day. No, but for real, he averages 3 per day. Keep em’ coming ladies!
Dream wedding: small, but gorgeous. Peonies and hydrangeas everywhere, lots of gold and candles.
Dream pet: a baby pig!!!
Dream job: international food taster.
Favorite Song: no idea, but I thoroughly enjoy 90s pop.
Hair color: no preference
eye color: no preference
humorous/serious: humorous + intelligence
Biggest turn off: jealousy & possessiveness issues, clinginess and/or lack of your own life to keep yourself entertained. I need my space, y’all.
Biggest turn on: intelligence + a slim fit suit
every time i hear anything about pizza it makes me want pizza. pizza is powerful. POWERFUL. always want pizza. always.
That one time this baby catcher bribed the bouncer with $40 to get me into the bar on my birthday because I forgot my ID.
I find it interesting how society doesn’t care when the media sexualizes women, when men sexualize women, or when school and the government sexualize women. But the second a woman is in control, and sexualizes herself willingly, it’s wrong and disgusting.
whenever i see these post-apocalyptic films set in the USA where everyone is pretty much just killing each other with no mention of other nations i always just assume that the rest of the world is fine and has learnt how to resume life as normal
The tags though
Every day after our afternoon walk she pants lightly while she cools down and I tell her the same cheesy joke:
Paris, are you hot? Are you a HOT DOG?!!!!
I almost forgot my briefcase!
it contains important lab results
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"