My white bedding is beautiful, but very unforgiving when it comes to pepperoni. Good thing sheets are cheap at Home Goods BECAUSE I WILL NOT STOP EATING PIZZA IN BED.
I SWEAR I AM NOT CUTE/SWEET
DON’T CALL ME THAT
I AM EVIL
I AM THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT
Hey, look. It’s me taking a photo of myself with a penguin iphone. In this moment I have accepted the fact that my accessory game is subpar and I will not look as young and hip as all of the young, hip DC lawyers I envy.
Tequila, aleppo pepper syrup, baked apple purée, lemon syrup, and a flower in my ice. Delicious. (at Zaytinya)
Time to grow up
I get being a picky eater.
I do not get being a grown ass adult who refuses to even try anything new and who wrinkles your nose at the mention of anything that isnt a plain burger or french fries.
Goodbye Mr. OB GYN. Hello, Baby Catcher.
macaronsandmoet said: Please just refer to Dillon as baby catcher from now on. So hilar
the-elle-em said: Baby catcher lololololololol
burnbookx said: Lol baby catcher
bacon-bits said: Lol.. baby catcher.
FYI: I’ve gained quite a few new followers recently. This baby catcher I’m referring to would be my boyfriend, who is an OB GYN.
Single girl life
Sometimes living alone is sad and depressing. That being said, one of my very favorite things are my Saturday mornings alone with a perfect cup of coffee and all my favorite liberal assholes on msnbc.
I walked into work this morning to find a lovely Finish gift box on my desk from the marketers. Too bad I no longer have a dishwasher….but it looks like I do have another dish to wash.